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If Not Now, When?

I have unequivocally decided no blog post seems worthy of being your first blog post. For two weeks now things have happened that I've said, 'YES! I need to write about this!' I then immediately discourage myself saying, 'Save it for later, it's not first blog post material.' I mean, if the first one sucks no one will ever come back! Do I start easy and write about why I wanted to start a blog? (I kinda did that with my 'placeholder' template one.) What about an outfit post? Or something interesting from the trip I just went on? Honestly, it all felt too...unsubstantial. I was fighting myself so much on what the first post looks like that I realized I'm never going to have one if i don't just DO IT!

So I'm just doing it...

I have been a total sap lately. An uncontrollable, inconsolable wreck.

But, of course, that isn't how it looks. Not only is the reality of life's mess not very photogenic, it can be very unsettling to reveal the depths of ourselves to friends and family, let alone people we don't know. 'What will they think? I don't want to be scrutinized. Is what I'm going through really that bad?'

Yet I've always been compelled to risk showing my own vulnerability because meaningful connections are never made on the surface. The truth is no one's life is all lattes and sunsets, despite how it may appear.

Everything has felt like the most painful struggle lately. Life as I know it is dramatically changing, whether I want it to or not. It has been exhausting and soul crushing. I have been exhausted and soul crushed. But I also have been so blessed to find a community of people who show such tenderness and compassion. And it's in those moments that the mess of life becomes not just bearable, but beautiful.

Thank you for being here and being kind.

Lao Tzu did say, 'New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.' So...I will have patience and blind trust in what's to be revealed, and just keep showing up with your big heart. I cannot wait to take you with me along this journey. Perhaps the fun has only just begun?


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